Fuel Economy Tips Series: Driving More Efficiently for a Happy Christmas Season - Part1 ...

Folks as we approach the Christmas season, many of us will be preparing feverishly to travel out of town to spend the festivity with our extended families in the country side. As always, I have prepared a few Fuel Saving Tips which could go a long way to ensuring that we drive safely and also save fuel on the mileage at the same time. Please read on and apply these tips and see for yourself what gains you would make in addition to your well deserved and planned Christmas with the family!

Drive Sensibly

Aggressive driving (speeding, rapid acceleration and braking) wastes fuel. It can lower your fuel mileage by 33 percent at highway speeds and by 5 percent around town. Sensible driving is also safer for you and others, so you may save more than fuel money as we approach the Yulitude.

Fuel Economy Benefit: 5–33% Equivalent Gasoline Savings: $0.17–$1.11/gallon

Observe the Speed Limit

While each vehicle reaches its optimal fuel economy at a different speed (or range of speeds), gas mileage usually decreases rapidly at speeds above 80 Km/h. You can assume that each 5 Km/h you drive over 80 Km/h is like paying an additional $0.27 per gallon for fuel. Observing the speed limit is also safer and will protect lives on our roads as we approach the Yulitude.

Fuel Economy Benefit: 7–23% Equivalent Gasoline Savings: $0.24–$0.78/gallon

Remove Excess Weight

Avoid keeping unnecessary items in your vehicle, especially heavy ones. An extra 100 kilos or pounds in your vehicle could reduce your MPG by up to 2 percent. The reduction is based on the percentage of extra weight relative to the vehicle's weight and affects smaller vehicles more than larger ones.

Fuel Economy Benefit: 1–2%/100 lbs Equivalent Gasoline Savings: $0.03–$0.07/gallon

Avoid Excessive Idling

Idling can use a quarter to a half gallon of fuel per hour, depending on engine size and air conditioner (AC) use. Turn off your engine when your vehicle is parked for a few minutes. It only takes a few seconds worth of fuel to restart your vehicle. Also remember that turning your engine on and off excessively especially when in traffic, however, may increase starter wear.

Fuel Cost Savings: $0.01–$0.02/min. (AC off). $0.02–$0.03/min. (AC on)

Use Cruise Control

Using Cruise Control (equipped in most American vehicles) on the motorway or highway helps you maintain a constant speed and, in most cases, will save fuel on your trip to your hometown for Christmas.

Use Overdrive Gears

When you use Overdrive gearing (for automatic vehicles), your car's engine speed goes down. This saves fuel and reduces engine wear.


To be Continued ...

How to Prolong Sexual Intercourse with your Partner ...//

Overview

When it comes to lasting power, there are some guys who have it and some who don't. The bottom line is if you and your partner are having a happy and healthy sex life, then there is no reason for alarm. But if you feel your sexual endeavors are a little bit on the short side, then there are ways to make the experience last longer. Premature ejaculation, or PE as it is also called, is actually a common phenomenon. According to the Mayo Clinic, as many as 1-in-3 men will deal with this problem sometime in their lives. The way to have longer sex is by following some specific steps that involve some exercises and some mental strength.

Step 1

Use the squeeze technique. When you are having sex and you are about to ejaculate, squeeze the end of your penis where the head meets the shaft. Hold for several seconds, then let go. Continue having sex and perform the same action when you feel the urge to ejaculate again.

Step 2

Take a yoga class. One of the root causes of premature ejaculation is being too stressed. A good way to relieve this is by doing some form of relaxation activity such as yoga, tai-chi or meditative breathing.

Step 3

Work on your technique. This is a very controversial advice but its proven to be very effective. When you are alone, practice masturbating until the point when you are about to ejaculate. Stop and wait until the urge has passed, then resume masturbating again. Keep doing this for 15 minutes or more, then finally ejaculate. This is a way to condition yourself for actual sex.

Step 4

Seek some professional help. Psychotherapists or sexual therapists can help facilitate ways for you to overcome your feelings of stress and reduce any anxiety you may be feeling. It is also a good idea to go with your partner.

Step 5

Take your mind off the obvious. Another reason that premature ejaculation often develops is because of over stimulation which starts in the mind. A way to combat this is by focusing on other things while you are having sex. They don't have to be bad thoughts either. Envision yourself cutting grass, playing basketball or going for a walk and looking at beautiful scenery.

Step 6

Strengthen your pubococcygeus muscle. This is known as a Kegel exercise. A way to strengthen these muscles is to stop urinating in midstream, hold, then release again. This will give you an idea of how to contract the muscles. Once you have figured it out, you can do this exercise anytime. Strengthening these muscles will give you better control of when you are about to ejaculate, causing you to last longer.


Source: livestrong.com

The Worlds Most Unsafe Airplanes ...//

The Worlds Most Unsafe Airplanes.

The latest planes of Boeing 737 family were still made back in 1988, and more than 500 of these airplanes are in use until now. The Boeing 737 JT&D, which belonged to I-Tec Air, crashed last year in Kyrgyzstan; it happened shortly after the European Union prohibited this company to fly to Europe, because of the tremendously low level of security. Such incidents help to explain why this model is on the top list of airplanes, which are so frequently prone to crashes. Old planes need more intensive care than the new ones. However, they are in operation by budget air companies, which do not have enough funds for normal technical service and teaching pilots.

Using the data of Ascend London insurance consultancy the Business Week edition made the list of the most dangerous planes on the basis of the air crash quantity with fatal outcome. The rate contained the models of planes, which are in operation all over the world in more than 100 units. Air crashes connected with terrorism were not included.

1. Boeing 737 JT8D.

The first version of Boeing 737 is recognized to be the most wrecking plane in the world. One air crash with a fatal outcome covers 507 500 flying hours. The less is the figure the more is the probability of crash. 517 more planes of this model are still in operation in poor countries. About 30- year-old Boeing 737 JT8D, that was in operation by Itek Air Company, crashed not far from Bishkek in August 2008. 68 people died in that crash.
Stats:
One crash per: 507,500 flying hours
Years of production: 1967-1988
Planes in operation: 517

2. IL-76

This model is mostly met in the countries of the former Soviet Union, Near East and Africa. One of the biggest air crashes of IL 76 happened in 2003. The crashed plane belonged to Iranian air company Iran Revolutionary Guard, 275 people died in that crash.
Stats:
One crash per: 549 900 flying hours
Years of production: 1974 – present
Planes in operation: 247

3. Tu-154

This model is also mainly in the parks of air companies of the former Soviet Union, and performs the flights in the inner airlines mainly. Since 2002 four air crashes took place in Iran with TU 154. The latest air crash happened this year in July 15: TU 154 of Iranian Air Company Caspian Air going from Tehran to Yerevan. 168 people died.
Stats:
One crash per: 1 041 000 flying hours
Years of production: 1971-present
Planes in operation: 336

4. Airbus A310

Big air companies have already put out of operation this model of European air constructor Airbus. However, some poor countries like Pakistan International Airlines, actively keep it in operation. The latest air crash of this kind of airliner happened this year in June 30 when A310 which belonged to Yemenia Airlines and was going from Yemen to Comoro Islands fell into the open sea. 153 people died, only a 12 –year-old girl was saved.
Stats:
One crash per: 1 067 700 flying hours
Years of production: 1983-1998
Planes in operation: 191

5. McDonnell-Douglas DC-9

The McDonnell-Douglas company stopped its existence after merging with Boeing in 1997, but not young already DC-9 are still in operation by the Delta Airlines company, and also by many other small air companies in the world. In April there was a crash of DC-9 of the Hewa Bora Airways2008 in the Republic of Congo, 44 people died then.
Stats:
One crash per: 1 068 700 flying hours
Years of production: 1965-1982
Planes in operation: 315

6. Tu-134

The most mass plane of the soviet civil aviation is still widely used by the Russian air companies and the former Soviet republics. As soon as the level of the engine noise of the liner does not satisfy the western European standards TU 134 is mainly used in inner flights. One of the biggest crashes happened in August 2004, when the “Volga – Aviaexpress” plane crashed and all the 43 people on board died.
Stats:
One crash per: 1 087 600 flying hours
Years of production: 1964-1986
Planes in operation: 223

7. Boeing 727

Most of the biggest air companies have already replaced the old Boeing 727 for more modern planes. The United Airlines air company e.g. gave one such liner to the Chicago museum of science and industry in 1993. However, this plane is still widely used out of the USA, especially by charter air companies. One of the air crashes with this plane happened in African Benin on Christmas 2003. 151 people died then.
Stats:
One crash per: 2 306 300 flying hours
Years of production: 1963-1984
Planes in operation: 412

8. McDonnell-Douglas MD-80

This model, made to replace DC-9, was taken out of production recently and is still in use by the Delta American Air Company, as well as big European companies, Alitalia and SAS in particular. In August 2008 the plane of this model which belonged to the Spanish Air company Spanai crashed when going from Madrid to Canary Islands. 153 people died then.
Stats:
One crash per: 2 332 300 flying hours
Years of production: 1980-1999
Planes in operation: 923

9. McDonnell-Douglas DC-10

DC 10 belongs to a rare type of planes whose security increases with its age. Fatal air crashes with this liner in 70’s brought to the significant changes and improvements in the construction of the airline. As a result the last incident with the people died happened in 1999 when the liner of the former French AOM company crashed in Guatemala. Currently the plane is mainly used by freight carrier and charter companies. The last air company which used DC 10 for regular flights was Biman Bangladesh.
Stats:
One crash per: 2 908 800 flying hours
Years of production: 1971-1989
Planes in operation: 153

10. McDonnell-Douglas MD-11

MD11 turned to be not a very successful model as it had not high indexes on effectiveness of fuel using and other parameters. Anyway the Finnair and KLM air companies still use these liners, but mainly for freight carrier. The last time the plane of this model crashed in 1999. At that time the MD 11 of the China Airlines company got burned while landing in Hong Kong during the typhoon, three people died.
It is necessary to mention that the list made by Business Week is somewhat different from the statistics made by the bureau on accidents by air transport JACDEC, though according to the version of this bureau the most wrecking in the history of civil aviation are the planes of Boeing Company.
Stats:
One crash per: 3 668 800 flying hours
Years of production: 1990-2001
Planes in operation: 187

Tips, Tricks and Techniques: 11 Ways To Increase Your Laptop Battery Life ...

A battery for a laptop is like oxygen for human beings. And why not, since you bought a laptop just so you could use it while you are traveling but if its battery conks out in the middle, won’t you be frustrated?

There are some ways to avoid that happening to you only if you read these tips on how to increase your laptop’s battery life.

1. Use hibernate instead of sleep mode

You may think there’s no difference between these two. But mind you, there is. In hibernation, your computer saves the work as is and then shuts down automatically. This technique saves power as well as has a long lasting effect on your battery. What sleep mode does is, it only switches off the hard drive and display and slows down the CPU. But, the memory still remains active thus drawing power from the battery.

2. Cut out on unnecessary programs

Unnecessary programs come in the form of those icons at the bottom right of your taskbar which start up when you switch on your laptop. They simply add to the CPU load, thus you should uncheck all those programs that you don’t want to run on startup.

3. Pull out external devices when not in use

External devices such as external speakers, mouse, iPod, bluetooth dongle, etc. cause drainage of battery. The best thing to do is to remove all these devices whenever you are not using them.

4. Don’t keep the CDs/DVDs in the drives

Another way to increase your laptop’s battery life is not to leave those CDs or DVDs in the drives.

5. Diminish the brightness of your screen

As it is, having a really bright screen in front of your eyes all the time is not a good idea. What you should do is lower the brightness of your laptop screen. You can do this by going to the display settings. Just set the brightness to the lowest level which you can manage with and this will increase your battery life.

6. Store the battery in a cool place

Every time you don’t need the laptop or have plugged it in, remove the battery and keep it in a cool, dry place. It’s also necessary for the battery to rest after running for so long, isn’t it?

7. Avoid using the screensaver

A screensaver might look very fancy and stylish to use. But you should keep in mind that it also sucks out your battery power. So just turn off that screensaver and let your laptop screen be as it is.

8. Use an appropriate power option

There are options available that allow you to shut off your display, hard drive or put your laptop to sleep after some time of non-usage. This way your laptop’s battery life is saved.

9. Defrag your hard drive

The basic rule is that the lower your CPU and hard drive load, the longer your laptop’s battery runs. Defragmenting the hard drive will lead to a lesser load and your laptop will run faster. This will also give your battery a longer life.

10. Run media on your hard drive

When you are traveling, you might want to watch a movie or play songs. In this case, it’s better to first transfer media from the DVD or external drive to your laptop. This is because running a DVD or external drive requires a lot of power and this power and battery life can be saved if you just transfer stuff from your external drive or DVD to your laptop.

11. Switch off Wi-Fi

If you are not using wi-fi, turn it off since it uses a lot of battery power.

A laptop’s battery is its life. These tips will help your laptop’s battery life to increase.



Source: www.magforwomen.com

SHORT STORY: Anima's Return - Part III ...

They met the following afternoon at 12 noon for lunch at one of Kwame’s favourite food joints called the Bush canteen located in the East Airport residential area. He ordered his usual fufu and green akrantie soup with goat, crabs and snails. When the waiter put the food on the table, Kwame licked his lips and exclaimed; “This is the real deal! It contains all the vitamins one would need for a healthy life!”. “Hmmm, I thought this was the exact opposite Kwame, this will rather send you to your grave quick” she replied with a smile. “If that were so, my grand dad would not have lived for 98 solid years on this kind of food!” Kwame continued. They both ate together in a big earthen ware bowl and drank fresh pineapple juice squeezed from the fruit and also discussed the funeral arrangements into detail and came up with a check list for Anima to follow up on contacts which would help provide the necessary items for the burial.

The funeral would not be a society one but a very simple private one. Only close family relations and a few friends and business associates would be invited. The funeral will be held at the house because it had a very extensive ground capable of hosting close to 800 people, after which burial would take place at the Osu crematorium. Animas father had written in his will that he wanted be cremated upon his death and that the funeral should be a simple one. It was Anima’s intention to carry out her fathers’ last wish to the letter. Kwame had to meet some clients at 4pm so they departed and promised to meet later in the evening for dinner at Anima’s place. She drove off to discuss the funeral plans with her uncle who lived in Tema.

Dinner was served in the terrace where they both eat a sumptuous meal of roast chicken and curry rice, which the cook had prepared. Anima poured out her favourite chilled sweet red wine in two glasses and they toasted to a long overdue home coming. After dinner, Anima said she wanted to go clubbing like old times so Kwame drove to Citizen Kofi, one of the coolest places to club in town where they had a nice time drinking, dancing and talking. The scent of the perfume she ware that evening was soo enchanting and captivating that it really set the tone for a night of total bliss. Since it was a Friday evening, Kwame said he had no plans for Saturday so they could stay on until morning if she liked.

They left the club at about 4.00am and got to Anima’s place in 30 minutes. As they got out of the car, Kwame noticed she was very happy and when they got into the house she asked him if he wanted a cup of coffee since it was already hitting morning but he declined. “Let me relax for a while before I leave” he said, and then he removed his shoes and lay down on the sofa. Anima sat by him and they began talking about things in general. She told him she had not had such a good time in over eight years of living in the UK. She said it was either work or school and no time to chill out with friends. She told him many guys came her way but she just wasn’t interested in any of them except the one guy who was now out of her reach, even though she would give anything in the world to get him back. “And who is this lucky guy that eventually captured your heart?” he asked.

“You! It’s you Kwame” she replied. “I have always loved you ever since I first set eyes on you. Remember the day we bumped into each other and you broke my cell phone?” “Yeah, I do remember that day. Infact I felt soo embarrassed and I promised getting you another one which couldn’t do. But I thought you had moved on with your life after you left me the way you did”. “No Kwame, I had always loved you and I still do. I felt very ashamed of myself looking at the way I left you so I decided to let fate take its cause. I think my punishment for that is you are now married and settled down, so I have to look for my own life long partner if I can”. Kwame looked sadly at her and then quietly said, “I waited for two years, hoping to hear from you but nothing happened, so I knew it wasn’t meant to be; perhaps we were not meant for each other after all”. “Kwame, I hope you have totally forgiven me for the way I treated you. You were so good to me and I had no right to do this to you. If only I could turn back the time, I would have …”

“Shiih! Please stop it!” Kwame quickly put a finger to her lips and said, “It’s not your fault at all, I am the man so I could have put in more effort at finding you, but I just sat down and waited; that’s not how a man who loves his woman should behave” Kwame said that just to ease the guilt Anima felt. He didn’t want to see the pain she felt as the tears flowed down her cheeks so he took out his handkerchief and wiped her eyes. “Its all right dear, don’t you worry; I still love you” as he drew her close to himself and patted her on the back. “I am soo sorry” she said, as her face lit up with a smile. “Kwame still loves me!” she thought to herself as she held him very tightly. “Let’s go upstairs so you can relax properly. The maid would come in any moment from now” she whispered into his ears. “I won’t eat you up if that’s what you are thinking; let’s go now!” she continued with a smile on her face. Kwame shrugged and then replied “Well, you know I am married and I shouldn’t be here with you in the first place; but if you insist, then promise me you won’t lead me into temptation”. “I won’t! Trust me, I won’t; no shaking!” and with that, she dragged him off the sofa and led him upstairs.

As soon as they got into the bedroom she quietly stepped up behind him and put her arms around him and stroked his chest through his shirt. As she did that, her breasts began to rub against his back and he felt a flash of lightning bolt shoot through his body almost making him shudder uncontrollably. She smiled and turned him around and started unbuttoning his shirt. Kwame just stood there motionless like a man who had just seen a ghost. “You promised you won’t lead me into temptation, now look what you are doing to me” Kwame finally spoke. “Do you want me or not?” she replied. “All I want to do is to help you relax after a hectic week. Let me ran a hot tub for you to wash down” and with that she left the room to fill up the Jacuzzi. Kwame sat on the edge of the bed and removed his trousers and vest. He suddenly released for the first time that he desperately desired Anima and wanted to make love to her. At the thought of that, a bulge began to develop in his boxers so he took out one of the pillows and placed it on his lap.

Anima returned undressed leaving on a G-string nylon pantie. She led him into the bathroom and helped him remove his boxers and then she bent down and slipped out of her own panties and embraced him. Kwame held her tightly in his arms and kissed her on the lips and then turned her around so that her back now faced him. Kwame marvelled at the firmness of her breasts and the way her nipples stood out stiffly to the touch of his fingers as he caressed them from behind. Anima also responded by pressing against him and rubbing her buttocks against his crotch. He began to feel the rush of adrenaline flow through his body thus making him almost climax behind her. Upon hearing Kwame’s groan, she quickly turned around to face him and saw his complete hard on, so she started kissing and nibbling on his ears and neck while he continued to fondle her nipples. After a couple of minutes, she turned around and said “Darling, lets get into the bath and I will help you relax”. With that, she reached up on her tiptoes to kiss him and then lowered herself into the Jacuzzi. Kwame followed suit and lowered himself into the bath so that he was now positioned in between her legs with his back facing her.


To Be Continued in Part-IV ...

Rupublic Day Special: SHORT STORY - Anima's Return Part II ...

Kwame could hardly wait for court proceedings to end so he kept tapping on the table with his pen most of the time and staring at the giant clock hanging above the judge. Soon, proceedings were over and judgment was in favour of his client. Kwame had once again won another high profile case and this put him in very good stead with the law firm. His boss was very happy with the out come and congratulated with a promise to increase his shares in the company.

Kwame rushed off to the office to change his shirt and put on a dinner jacket. He had a date with Anima at the Afrikiko restaurant at 7pm and he did not want to be late. He got caught up in a little traffic but he managed to get there right on time. As he stepped out of his car, a black Mercedes Benz pulled up next to his car. The door opened and out came a stunning beauty. One glance at her was enough to make any man choke on his own saliva. It was Anima. She stretched forth her hand and Kwame gave it a gentle kiss as he led her into the restaurant.

They finished dinner at about 9pm and settled down to savour their drinks. As they nursed and sipped the drinks, they discussed things in general and then talked about the plans for the up coming funeral and about how she was going to quickly settle down to take over the management of the multi-million dollar business which her dad had left behind for her. Anima was an only child and so the burden was going to be very heavy on her since her mum was not going to be around for the funeral. They also realized that the opportunity might be one of the few moments they might have together catching up on old times. Kwame just couldn't keep his eyes off her while they talked, because her body was still trim and shapely and he thought she was incredibly sexy for a woman in her middle 30s.

When their drinks were finished, he settled the bill and they left the restaurant, and headed towards the car park. “Let’s go to my place for a night cup” Anima whispered into Kwame’s ear as they got into their separate cars. “I was hoping to hear you say this; why not? It’s only half past nine” “Okay, you lead the way and I will follow right behind you” he replied. They drove off headed for Animas place. Kwame once again called his wife to tell her he was having a meeting with a client so he will come home late but the answering machine picked the call. “Honey, I will be late tonight so please do not stay up. Kiss the kids goodnight for me. Bye”.

They arrived at Anima’s place and settled down in the sitting room. The servant came in to ask if there was anything she could do for them, but Anima said no. “That will be all for the day Mansa, you may go to bed now” “Thank you madam” she replied and left the room. After talking for a while, Anima excused herself for a few minutes saying “Kwame, let me go freshen up, I won’t be long. Make yourself comfortable; eat and drink what ever you want. There is plenty of food in the kitchen”. With that, she picked up her shoes and run upstairs. “I brought some nice DVD’s; they are in the cabinet so feel free to watch them if you want!”

Kwame went into the kitchen and opened the fridge. This was the same old kitchen he once visited some 15 years ago when they were in university. He had once paid her a visit at home during the long Easter vacation while her dad was out of the country on a business trip. Her mother was a very nice woman who asked him to go into the kitchen where Anima was cooking lunch. He ended up helping her cook the food to the amazement of the mother and since then, he was always welcome to the house. The fridge and cooker were still positioned at the same place; nothing had really changed except for a large deep freezer which now stood where the washing machine used to be. He took out a can of orange juice and returned to the sitting room. He picked up an old photo album from the coffee table and started flicking through it. He saw pictures of Anima which were taken since she was a child up to the time when she first entered university.

He realised for the first time that in the almost ten years of not seeing each other, she had indeed not really changed that much except for the fact that she had grown even prettier than ever before. Memories of their school days came flooding back again, and he remembered the first time they made love. Anima was a virgin then and he remembered how she had cried out in pain during intercourse. They did not use a condom so she was very much afraid of getting herself pregnant and he had to re-assure her that everything was okay. The other few times they made love were quite better and this time around Anima brought a box of assorted condoms for him to keep in his suitcase. She also counted them to make sure that he did not use them on any other woman but her. That was the girl Anima; the lady who always made sure that she was in control of affairs. She never ever left anything to chance. At the though of this, Kwame looked up, smiled and then shook his head.

“Just what are you smiling about dear?” The soft husky voice jolted him and nearly knocked him off the sofa. “I didn’t hear you come in” Kwame replied. “It’s because you were thousands of miles away from here” she said. “Your photos brought back sweet memories and I couldn’t help reminiscing about the good old days we shared together” Kwame continued.

He then noticed that Anima had changed into a silk nightie. Her sweet fragranced perfume had filled the room with the perfect scent of a woman. The transparent material revealed the shapely figure underneath it and the view sent some electric signals up his crotch and he felt a bulge beginning to develop in his pants. Anima looked down at him and smiled, “isn’t it too bright in here? Let me turn on the dim lights”. With that she turned off the bright ones. “Now this is much better”.

“Let me make you a cup of coffee”, then she left for the kitchen to prepare the coffee. Ten minutes later, she returned with a coffee tray and set it down before him. She opened the flask and poured out two cups, added some sugar and milk to taste and then handed one to Kwame. “Just the way you like it, hot and steamy!” she said. Kwame took a sip and remarked; “Yeah hot and steamy just like you! You still haven’t forgotten how to make great coffee huh?”

They sat before the TV and watched a movie, and then they talked for a while until it was past midnight. Kwame got up to leave saying “Anima, I have to go now, it’s late and Abena would be waiting up for me; she always does that even though I have told her not to”. Anima laughed and said “Don’t worry, let me see you off before Abena pounces on me for holding up her husband all night long”. Kwame took her in his arms as they got closer to the car and they started kissing while they let their hands rove over each other, “I will see you again tomorrow okay” then he said goodnight and drove off.

Anima stood in the drive way and thought to herself, wondering why on earth she did not marry Kwame. If only her father had accepted him as he was, she would have been happily married to the man she once loved and still loves. She had not yet told Kwame she had known no other man apart from him ever since he broke her virginity. If only she had sent that letter she wrote before leaving, all would have been well by now. She stood there for a while and then went back into the house. She cleared the table and sent the tray to the kitchen, switched off the lights and went upstairs to bed.

To Be Continued ...

THE VALUE OF CHRISTIAN COUNSELLING

Counseling can be a wonderful experience; finally unburdening yourself of things which have been troubling you for years. It can also be a painful, but necessary, medicine. It is often hard coming to terms with both our own weaknesses and problems, and also the pain that we really feel, and what has caused it. It is essential that you trust your counselor, so make sure you are allowed at least one meeting with them before you decide to commit to a series of sessions.

You need to feel that your counselor is listening to you and understanding what you say. If you are not a Christian, then you may feel more comfortable with a non-Christian counselor. However, if you are in the midst of finding out more about God and being a Christian, and you are comfortable with Christian ideas in general, then you might find it really helpful and perhaps reassuring to be counseled by a Christian. You can always try this and see, and be open and honest with your counselor so that they know about any worries that you have.

Christian Counseling is essentially about having a formal setting to share your problems with someone who has been trained to be both sympathetic and analytic in their approach to dealing with personal problems. This approach is a Christian one, that is that Christian beliefs about human suffering and its causes - for example the role of sin in causing suffering, and the need for the presence of forgiveness in people in order for them to be spiritually (and also emotionally) free, is taken fully into account.

People who have been properly trained can be very good at spotting the underlying causes behind different problems, seeing things which we cannot as we are embedded in the problem and so restricted in our view. You yourself will probably know if counseling would be beneficial for you. You can always try one or two meetings with a counselor, and then decide if you need more. You may be depressed or you may be experiencing loneliness, and counseling could be beneficial. Combined with other methods, such as prayer for inner healing for example, Christian counseling can be very effective for bringing release from personal burdens.

The Cost of Counseling.

What are the cost elements of counseling? I must admit that it often makes me feel slightly uncomfortable that you normally have to pay for counseling. I do realize that counselors have to pay for their training and need a means to support themselves financially. However, it may be useful if I expand my point. The counselor-counselee relationship is a type of friendship. In strict terms, this perhaps should not be the case, as the relationship is a professional one. In practice, however, some sort of emotional bond is often formed between the two parties. It can feel awkward having to make a financial sacrifice, being charged, in order to offload burdens to someone who is acting as if a long-standing friend. Such a sentiment of emotional confusion could potentially work to disrupt the counseling process.

What I am referring to with regard to cost is particularly the case, I feel, with Christian counseling. As we involve God centrally in the healing and restoration process and he provides his love and help to us totally freely and without condition, paying a counselor who is acting as a facilitating third party to the process, can seem contradictory, and confuse us. However, we must accept that we live in a world of money and that God can use money and He is in control of it. If we think like this, our confusion can be remedied. In short, it is obviously perfectly reasonable for counselors to charge for their service (although within reason!), and a great amount of benefit can be gained from such trained professionals.

Non-professional Church-based counseling.

If you cannot afford counseling, and you know someone who is a friend or someone in your Church, who can counsel you on a non-professional basis, this could be a very good alternative to having to pay. Some people are very good listeners, and have good experience to draw on. However, it is so important that they really listen to you, and do not impose reflections of their past experiences upon your unique situation. The element of trust obviously needs to be present. Also, the gender of the counselor and the counselee needs to be the same. The reason for this is to avoid any possible sexual attraction distracting or endangering the process. One exception to this rule might be if the counselee is facing the issue of homosexuality, and being counseled by a member of the same sex would tempt them. Less formal counseling, which is Church-based, can be particularly good because it may be a little easier or natural to involve prayer in the process, and also prayer for inner healing if this is appropriate.

Christian Counseling; God and theory without Conflict.

As Christians, God is at the centre of our lives. Christian counseling takes this fact and brings analytic skills into a process which helps people understand the source of their problems. Ultimately, these problems will either be founded on people’s own sin, or founded on sin or misfortune that has happened to them. However, it is easy to oversimplify things and so is highlighted a strength of counseling. Counseling at its best can recognize the different and sometimes complex factors that go towards making a person how they are, their emotional, spiritual and mental states.

SPECIAL FEATURE: SHORT STORY-ANIMAS RETURN PT1 ...

The phone suddenly rang out blasting Kojo Antwi’s hit song “Tom & Jerry”. Kwame picked up his new Black Berry phone; “Kwame Debrah here” he answered, and guess whose voice it was at the end of the line; “It’s me Anima in black and white!” Kwame continued; “Hey! Are you a ghost or what?” “It’s been ages!” “Where have you been?” The sweet husky voice at the other end of the line answered, “I arrived last night from the UK”. “But how did you get this number?” Kwame asked. “It’s my private business line and only a handful knows this number”. “Well, it’s a secret which I will tell you when I see you in person” Anima replied. “So where are you putting up?” Kwame asked. “I am staying at my fathers, she replied”. “Okay, I will drop by on my way home from work; let’s say between 7.30 and 8pm tonight”. “I will be expecting your visit if you say so”, Anima replied and hanged up the phone.

Kwame could not believe what had just transpired between him and Anima, so he kept staring at the phone for almost three minutes until a voice suddenly tore through his imagination startling him. “Sir, you have a visitor” He turned around and found his secretary standing at his executive desk. Apparently, he had been so consumed by the thought of seeing Anima again after almost 10 years that he did not hear the door open and close when his secretary walked into the office. “Oh, err, please let him in.” Kwame replied.

At exactly 6pm Kwame called his wife Abena and told her he was attending an alumni meeting in town so he will get home late, hence no dinner should be left for him. He then picked up his car keys and set off to the club house for a drink before proceeding to Animas place. While sipping his drink, a thousand thoughts came flooding back to his mind. Kwame had met Anima in university 13 years ago and they had been dating for almost 4 years before she suddenly disappeared without trace; not even a goodbye note or a phone call. He later heard that she had travelled abroad, thus cutting out her final year in school. Kwame was so devastated that he nearly didn’t make it for his final year exams. Several attempts to get an address or contact number also proved futile because her parents had moved from their residence at Dzorwulu.

Anima had simply disappeared into thin air! Kwame remembered the first time he set eyes on her at campus. She looked soo innocent and naïve; he had bumped into her at the lecture hall and in the process dropping all her books and mobile phone, which broke up into pieces when it hit the hard floor. She cried, claiming her dad was going to be very mad at her for destroying the phone. He assured her that he would replace it for her even though he did not own one himself. In those days owning a mobile phone was a luxury and only the rich and affluent kids at school owned such electronic gadgets, which they showed off as a sign of high status on campus.

Even though Anima came from a rich home, it never really showed due to the humility she exhibited at school. She never wanted anyone to know she came from a rich home. Her dad was the owner of a multi-million dollar manufacturing firm located at Tema with hundreds of workers. She always went for holidays abroad so she had very few friends until she came to campus to pursue a course of study in Finance and Administration. Her dad wanted her to study medicine overseas, but she insisted on studying in Ghana after her SSS examinations.

Kwame on the other hand came from a poor home. His dad was a driver working for SSNIT. He was the third child and only son out of five and he managed to make it to university because he had very good brains. He was the pride of his dad who could not make it to secondary school himself; hence he did everything within his means to get him to university to study law. Now he had become a managing partner of Wilberforce and Associates, one of the leading law firms in the country. He just sat there lost in his own thoughts. Kwame was married to Abena, also a lawyer at the same firm, but their marriage was already breaking at the seams after only six years. Between them, they had two boys and a girl.

His phone rang again and he frowned as he picked it up, then the frown fizzled out into a broad smile when he heard Animas voice at the other end. “Are you coming or what?” “Sure, I am on my way!” he replied. “Okay, I will be waiting” and then she hang up the phone.

Kwame quickly gulped up the last mouthful of Guinness stout and then left a crisp GHC5.00 note on the bar and told the bar man to keep the change as he dashed off. As he drove towards Dzorwulu, a thousand more memories of the past came flooding back to him again. He kept wondering why on earth Anima still had a hold on him after so long a time, not to mention the way she abandoned him without a single word. Suddenly he got angry and decided to make a u-turn and head for home; but then the thought of going back to his wife and her constant nagging immediately sent his courage ebbing with a shiver down his spine. Abena’s father was a senior partner and chairman of the law firm he worked for and infact, she had made it possible for Kwame to get employed at the firm after his national service, so he owed his success to her. The idea of a divorce was one of the last things that would ever cross his mind even though that was exactly what he wanted. He quickly changed his mind and continued to Anima’s place.

As he pulled up to the main gate, he saw the security man rush out to open it for him without even asking who he was. It was obvious the security man had been told to expect him. He drove into the house and parked behind a black C-Class series Mercedes Benz car. As he got out of the car, he saw a very attractive lady dressed in a black gown walking down the drive way towards him. This elegant lady was no other than Anima. Kwame’s heart missed a beat and he swallowed hard so as not to get chocked on his own saliva. “So you made it here at long last”, she said. “You are welcome Kwame dear, for a moment I thought you would not come”. “Why not, I wouldn’t miss anything for a chance to see you after all these years” Kwame replied.

“Gosh, you look stunning Anima!” he continued as he took her right hand and gave it a kiss. “You also look stunning and handsome yourself” she smiled back at him. “You haven’t changed a bit! Still the same handsome Kwame I used to date at university”. She led him up the drive way into the terrace, where they sat down and looked at each other for almost two minutes without saying a word. The silence was soo deafening that you could even hear a pin drop as the servant brought in some drinks on a serving tray. Anima took the tray from the servant and set it on the glass coffee table before Kwame. She asked Kwame what he would take and he mentioned a dry martini on rocks. She then poured a cognac for herself and sat beside him on the settee.

“I know I owe you a big explanation and I also know you are very mad at me for leaving you the way I did. Please find it in your heart to forgive me Kwame. Even if you don’t, I won’t blame you for that”. Kwame took a long swing at his martini and then put the glass down on the glass table with a tingling sound. “I forgive you; infact I did so long ago before I got married to Abena six years ago”. “But the question is this: Why have you suddenly come back into my life just when I was beginning to shed you off?” “You really hurt me very much, when you left me and it has taken me a long time to heal and mend the deep cut which you inflicted on my soul. Now here you are about to open that wound again. No, Anima this isn’t fair on me at all. You should not have done this to me at all”. As Kwame spoke these words, he got up to leave. Anima held his hand gently and beckoned him to sit down. “I know I hurt you very much, but please hear me out. Just listen to what I have to say to you.” She replied. “You see I wouldn’t have come looking for you if I hadn’t lost my dad. My mum is also ill and on admission in a hospital in London as I speak. Kwame I have come home to bury my dad and I really need your help”.

Kwame looked up at her in shock, and exclaimed. “Your dad is dead? When did this all happen? I am soo sorry to hear this. Please have my sincere condolence”. Anima broke down in tears and wept as Kwame held her in his arms to console her. “I won’t leave it all for you, count on me. I will help you bury your dad”. At these words, Anima stopped weeping and wiped her eyes and said, “You have always been the kind hearted guy I have always known since our school days. Thank you so much for opting to help me out. Infact, I had no where else to go!”. “You are a darling and a saviour!” she said. “So what happened?” Kwame asked.

Anima told Kwame how she had had to leave for London at very short notice because her dad had gotten to know about their relationship in school and how he had given her an ultimatum to either choose between remaining a daughter and becoming destitute. She told him she had no choice but to agree to his terms and relocate abroad with immediate effect. Her father sent her abroad to study and get groomed so that she could take over as CEO of the factory when she returned home. Now that her father was no more, she automatically becomes the new CEO of the company. She also explained to him how she refused to marry a business partner of her father 4 years ago and thus she was still single and available if he still wanted her. Kwame also lamented about the problems he was facing with his marriage to Abena and how getting a divorce was out of the question, because his father in law was a very powerful man who would go through all lengths to bring him down if he dared to do so. They sat and talked for a very long time reminiscing old times and also making plans for the funeral.

Kwame looked at his wrist watch and finally got up to leave. The time was way past 1am and he had to go to court the following morning, so he asked permission to leave. “I have to go now, tomorrow is a busy day for me” he told Anima. “Let me see you off” she replied, as she led him down the drive way towards his car. When they got to the car, Kwame opened the door and got in. Anima stood by the door and leaned into the car and spoke softly to him saying “my love to Abena and the kids” as she withdrew, Kwame suddenly held her face and looked deeply into her eyes and said, “You should at least have dropped me a note to tell me you were coming home” “Anyway, welcome back home and good night”. With these words, he kissed her on the cheek. “Is that the best you can do after not seeing me for soo long?” she asked. “You know I still do love you very much”. Kwame looked at her and smiled, then he replied saying “It’s not about Love; it’s about trust! I know you love me, but can I really trust you? Well, time will tell. We just have to wait and see. I will see you in the evening after work”.

He started the car, rolled up the glass and reversed out of the house onto the now quite and deserted street and drove off into the darkness of the night.


To be continued ...